Never saw it coming- KonMari Method Update 1

I remember messaging a friend of mine who had also heard about the KonMari method and mentioning how I was 80% done with all my sorting. As I typed that message, I remember trying to think of the most accurate number and finding that comfortable 80% but boy was I wrong!

Since my last post, I finished the book (very good read, by the way) and began the process of applying the KonMari Method to my own life. It has been two weeks and we are still nowhere close to done. For those unfamiliar with the method, it requires one to take each and every individual item in one's possession and asking the question: does this spark joy in me. Then, keeping only those things that do. This is however only the first step. The second is to then find a spot for each and every item that you are then left with. It is promised by Marie to be a method to end all methods of tidying. She claims that none of her clients have every relapsed to a state of hoarding or untidiness. Once started, she recommends it being done swiftly. It sounds crazy but it is an interesting exercise that brings so many aspects of ones character and mind set to light.

I began my journey (or saga, because that's what it is turning out to be) with my closet as she suggests. After being at it for two weeks, I completely understand why. That feeling of joy that she describes is most easily and readily felt with our clothing. Maybe because we have a sense of how they feel or how they look on our bodies, not sure. Having some familiarity with that sense of joy and inspiration she describes, helps us to later sort through the more difficult items. It's practice.

As Marie suggests I brought all my clothes out and laid it out on the floor. I mentioned in my previous post that I consider myself to not be a hoarder at all. In fact, I have no problem throwing things away when I'm done or donating them. I really didn't expect my closet cleaning to take much time at all. Yet, once I saw all of my things just lying there, one on top of the other, more still in the closet left to bring out, even more in the drawers, and then another closet full of ethnic clothing, I had a minor panic attack. Where did all this come from!?

You can't tell from the picture, but the while was as high as our bed!

Now, this picture does not include my unmentionables and some PJ that were tucked away in some drawers. Also, I have a pretty huge stock pile of clothes at my parents' house which I complete forgot about. 

In any case, I start from one corner and worked my way through. I have to say, it was quite hard at first and as I progressed, quite surprised. There were a few things that I had forgotten about and quite a few things that I ended up donating which I had worn just a day or two prior. Going through each article brought back so many thoughts and memories. I had to let go of a lot of guilt and greed and fear. Oh the fear. What if I need this one day and I won't have it? What if I never find anything to wear with this? Yet, I tried to keep my eyes on the prize.

My refined wardrobe

At the end, after getting through just the pile on my floor, I had about 6 garbage bags full of stuff: clothes, purses, shoes. Pictured above is what I had left, although I did end up taking a few more pieces out. There was such a serious level of satisfaction that came over me. I couldn't believe it. I wasn't so surprised at all the stuff that I threw away. I mean, I was, but more so surprised at the things I kept. I looked at the pile before me and saw myself. With having each child and moving from an academic setting into a home life setting, I felt like I had lost my sense of personal style and even sense of coordination! I struggled with my new body and my new stage of life in terms of how to translate that into my style. But when I look at my closet now, I see me. By focusing on what I love, I saw a more clearly.

There is something quite indescribably about seeing only those things that lift you up. Wanting to wear every single piece without hesitation; it just being a matter of what you're in the mood for.

More importantly, however, employing the method, as Marie says, provokes a shift in lifestyle but also of mindset. I mentioned earlier how I am someone who usually has no qualms about donating things or getting rid of unused things. Because of this, I considered myself at an advantage. However, the process so far has proven two things to me and taught me something crucial about myself. This is a) I don't actually get rid of as much as I think I do and b) to paraphrase Marie, it is about looking at what you have rather than what you want to get rid of. The second point is key because looking at what you have and looking at what you want to get rid of perpetuate two very different attitudes. The former gratitude and the later greed and worldliness. 

When we look at what we want to get rid of, we look to replace it somehow. 'I got rid of this thing so that means I have more space for something else'-attitude. It is also quite disrespectful to those things that have played some part in your life. Looking at what you have helps us to fully realize what we really need and more importantly that our happiness doesn't depend on how much we have. All those things fulfill a purpose and that purpose should be to contribute to bringing more joy into our lives. Everything else-forgettabout it. 

Being at it for 2 weeks, I still feel like I'm at the beginning of it all but tackling the first task of my closet has left me quite excited to see what will come from all the other parts of our home. I feel reawakened to a sense of who I am. Amid all the chaos of bringing things out from every corner and crawl space of our house, I can finally see the potential of a more simple and permanently organized life.

Making a home- KonMari Method

Ever since I have started staying home full-time, I've noticed that a significant portion of my mental energy goes into thinking about the space that I am in all day: our home. Where should this go? How did this bathroom get so dirty? How should I organize our clothes? How do I stuff these three boxes into that closet? Do those curtains match?

The space that we live in should bring us joy and peace. More importantly, it should bring joy into our family's life. Having an orderly home necessarily brings us to an orderly life. This was the mantra I always heard growing up but exactly how to do that: well, that's always been a work in progress.

I know what I want though. I want a bright, cheery, well kept home. Ideally like the ones you see when you open up a home and lifestyle magazine. While I know that might not happen, I want to get as close to that, my version of it, as possible. I want there to be function. I want to know where everything is and want to be able to get to it in no time. So, with all this in mind, I've tackled many a "spring cleanings." I am by nature, someone who doesn't like keeping a lot of stuff. (at least that's what I thought) I tend to take initiative constantly to help clear out things that get in the way.

I've taken the advise of many other bloggers and writers.  I once heard that women only wear 20% of their wardrobe and had a closet "purge" that in retrospect was not really a purge at all (I'll explain later). When we moved, I made it a point to get rid of more random things that we didn't need. I've employed a number of organizational methods, some that stuck and others that didn't, spending time and money to implement them. Yet, somehow I look into my closet or home today and I don't feel the satisfaction that I hoped to. I want to walk into my living room, dining room, whatever room and feel at peace. I want to be in absolute complete love with every living square foot of my home.

I'm not a disorganized person for the most part. I try my best to keep things in order, labeled, etc. But it wasn't until I discovered the KonMari method that I realized that this was not the issue for my discontent. KonMari reflects the tidying method or philosophy of a Japanese woman named Marie Kondo who wrote the best selling book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing. After reading about the method, I've started (finally) listening to the audio book because, let's get real, I aint about to read this book when I have a pile of at least 6 others sitting on my night stand. I'm including the link to the free audio book here. I started listening to it while nursing my daughter or doing random tasks around the house. People, it is inspirational. The method is centered around the notion that we should surround ourselves with only those things that bring us happiness. 


KonMari

Being introduced to this book has forced me to consider the spiritual dimension of my discontent. She said something in her book that was particularly striking to me. She gave the example of how whenever she had a huge task before  her, like an exam, she would spend hours cleaning and tidying before she even cracked a book open. Oh, could I relate to this! She said that after much thought and research, this is indicative of something much deeper- that our minds are unable to tackle the task at hand because it has to deal with the deeper issue first. Once these issues are dealt with, we can live the life we imagine. She claims that the change is life-changing and transformative. It requires a change in mind set.

As a wife and mother, I must feel like the home I create for my family is one that is over flowing with love and affection and happiness. This is important especially for my children because their first experience of how they should feel at peace, that feelings they should chase their entire life comes from how they feel when they are home. When a home is cluttered or unclean or just plain unattractive, it doesn't inspire us; we are not elevated to be who we are created to be. We waste our time, distracted every so often instead of completing tasks and building ourselves.  This of course doesn't mean we have to have expensive things, just making the things we have beautiful and attractive. 

I firmly feel that what God wants of us is to live artfully and thus joyfully. Anyone can life by the bare necessities-even animals-but we are beautifully complex, artistic creatures created by the most creative One of all. This is how we realize the full potential of who we are so that we can see the world and ourselves the way God Himself sees us. As I live out my vocation as wife, mother and home maker, I am obliged to ask myself how I can perform these roles with the utmost diligence. How can I inspire my children to be 100% who they are and do so joyfully? 

The first exercise Kondo says, before starting anything, is to imagine the kind of life you want at the end of all this. Then, ask yourself why? and then again, ask why? Doing this 3-5 times she says, you finally come to realize that you ultimately just want to be truly happy and joyful in life. Doing this exercise, I found that this goal extends further to consider where I am in my spiritual journey and vocation. It has caused me to ask what I put emphasis on and what things I neglect to work on. Instead of feeling overwhelmed, I want to feel free and able to enjoy the life God has been so gracious to bless me with. I want to be able to spend more time with my children instead of worrying about tidying up. I'm tired of always feeling overwhelmed with all that needs to be done. These are the kinds of things that truly make me happy and joyful. This is the kind of life, I feel, God wants for me also. 

So, I take you with me as I begin this journey! I'll keep you updated about my progress and the thoughts I have along the way.