Never saw it coming- KonMari Method Update 1

I remember messaging a friend of mine who had also heard about the KonMari method and mentioning how I was 80% done with all my sorting. As I typed that message, I remember trying to think of the most accurate number and finding that comfortable 80% but boy was I wrong!

Since my last post, I finished the book (very good read, by the way) and began the process of applying the KonMari Method to my own life. It has been two weeks and we are still nowhere close to done. For those unfamiliar with the method, it requires one to take each and every individual item in one's possession and asking the question: does this spark joy in me. Then, keeping only those things that do. This is however only the first step. The second is to then find a spot for each and every item that you are then left with. It is promised by Marie to be a method to end all methods of tidying. She claims that none of her clients have every relapsed to a state of hoarding or untidiness. Once started, she recommends it being done swiftly. It sounds crazy but it is an interesting exercise that brings so many aspects of ones character and mind set to light.

I began my journey (or saga, because that's what it is turning out to be) with my closet as she suggests. After being at it for two weeks, I completely understand why. That feeling of joy that she describes is most easily and readily felt with our clothing. Maybe because we have a sense of how they feel or how they look on our bodies, not sure. Having some familiarity with that sense of joy and inspiration she describes, helps us to later sort through the more difficult items. It's practice.

As Marie suggests I brought all my clothes out and laid it out on the floor. I mentioned in my previous post that I consider myself to not be a hoarder at all. In fact, I have no problem throwing things away when I'm done or donating them. I really didn't expect my closet cleaning to take much time at all. Yet, once I saw all of my things just lying there, one on top of the other, more still in the closet left to bring out, even more in the drawers, and then another closet full of ethnic clothing, I had a minor panic attack. Where did all this come from!?

You can't tell from the picture, but the while was as high as our bed!

Now, this picture does not include my unmentionables and some PJ that were tucked away in some drawers. Also, I have a pretty huge stock pile of clothes at my parents' house which I complete forgot about. 

In any case, I start from one corner and worked my way through. I have to say, it was quite hard at first and as I progressed, quite surprised. There were a few things that I had forgotten about and quite a few things that I ended up donating which I had worn just a day or two prior. Going through each article brought back so many thoughts and memories. I had to let go of a lot of guilt and greed and fear. Oh the fear. What if I need this one day and I won't have it? What if I never find anything to wear with this? Yet, I tried to keep my eyes on the prize.

My refined wardrobe

At the end, after getting through just the pile on my floor, I had about 6 garbage bags full of stuff: clothes, purses, shoes. Pictured above is what I had left, although I did end up taking a few more pieces out. There was such a serious level of satisfaction that came over me. I couldn't believe it. I wasn't so surprised at all the stuff that I threw away. I mean, I was, but more so surprised at the things I kept. I looked at the pile before me and saw myself. With having each child and moving from an academic setting into a home life setting, I felt like I had lost my sense of personal style and even sense of coordination! I struggled with my new body and my new stage of life in terms of how to translate that into my style. But when I look at my closet now, I see me. By focusing on what I love, I saw a more clearly.

There is something quite indescribably about seeing only those things that lift you up. Wanting to wear every single piece without hesitation; it just being a matter of what you're in the mood for.

More importantly, however, employing the method, as Marie says, provokes a shift in lifestyle but also of mindset. I mentioned earlier how I am someone who usually has no qualms about donating things or getting rid of unused things. Because of this, I considered myself at an advantage. However, the process so far has proven two things to me and taught me something crucial about myself. This is a) I don't actually get rid of as much as I think I do and b) to paraphrase Marie, it is about looking at what you have rather than what you want to get rid of. The second point is key because looking at what you have and looking at what you want to get rid of perpetuate two very different attitudes. The former gratitude and the later greed and worldliness. 

When we look at what we want to get rid of, we look to replace it somehow. 'I got rid of this thing so that means I have more space for something else'-attitude. It is also quite disrespectful to those things that have played some part in your life. Looking at what you have helps us to fully realize what we really need and more importantly that our happiness doesn't depend on how much we have. All those things fulfill a purpose and that purpose should be to contribute to bringing more joy into our lives. Everything else-forgettabout it. 

Being at it for 2 weeks, I still feel like I'm at the beginning of it all but tackling the first task of my closet has left me quite excited to see what will come from all the other parts of our home. I feel reawakened to a sense of who I am. Amid all the chaos of bringing things out from every corner and crawl space of our house, I can finally see the potential of a more simple and permanently organized life.

Making a home- KonMari Method

Ever since I have started staying home full-time, I've noticed that a significant portion of my mental energy goes into thinking about the space that I am in all day: our home. Where should this go? How did this bathroom get so dirty? How should I organize our clothes? How do I stuff these three boxes into that closet? Do those curtains match?

The space that we live in should bring us joy and peace. More importantly, it should bring joy into our family's life. Having an orderly home necessarily brings us to an orderly life. This was the mantra I always heard growing up but exactly how to do that: well, that's always been a work in progress.

I know what I want though. I want a bright, cheery, well kept home. Ideally like the ones you see when you open up a home and lifestyle magazine. While I know that might not happen, I want to get as close to that, my version of it, as possible. I want there to be function. I want to know where everything is and want to be able to get to it in no time. So, with all this in mind, I've tackled many a "spring cleanings." I am by nature, someone who doesn't like keeping a lot of stuff. (at least that's what I thought) I tend to take initiative constantly to help clear out things that get in the way.

I've taken the advise of many other bloggers and writers.  I once heard that women only wear 20% of their wardrobe and had a closet "purge" that in retrospect was not really a purge at all (I'll explain later). When we moved, I made it a point to get rid of more random things that we didn't need. I've employed a number of organizational methods, some that stuck and others that didn't, spending time and money to implement them. Yet, somehow I look into my closet or home today and I don't feel the satisfaction that I hoped to. I want to walk into my living room, dining room, whatever room and feel at peace. I want to be in absolute complete love with every living square foot of my home.

I'm not a disorganized person for the most part. I try my best to keep things in order, labeled, etc. But it wasn't until I discovered the KonMari method that I realized that this was not the issue for my discontent. KonMari reflects the tidying method or philosophy of a Japanese woman named Marie Kondo who wrote the best selling book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing. After reading about the method, I've started (finally) listening to the audio book because, let's get real, I aint about to read this book when I have a pile of at least 6 others sitting on my night stand. I'm including the link to the free audio book here. I started listening to it while nursing my daughter or doing random tasks around the house. People, it is inspirational. The method is centered around the notion that we should surround ourselves with only those things that bring us happiness. 


KonMari

Being introduced to this book has forced me to consider the spiritual dimension of my discontent. She said something in her book that was particularly striking to me. She gave the example of how whenever she had a huge task before  her, like an exam, she would spend hours cleaning and tidying before she even cracked a book open. Oh, could I relate to this! She said that after much thought and research, this is indicative of something much deeper- that our minds are unable to tackle the task at hand because it has to deal with the deeper issue first. Once these issues are dealt with, we can live the life we imagine. She claims that the change is life-changing and transformative. It requires a change in mind set.

As a wife and mother, I must feel like the home I create for my family is one that is over flowing with love and affection and happiness. This is important especially for my children because their first experience of how they should feel at peace, that feelings they should chase their entire life comes from how they feel when they are home. When a home is cluttered or unclean or just plain unattractive, it doesn't inspire us; we are not elevated to be who we are created to be. We waste our time, distracted every so often instead of completing tasks and building ourselves.  This of course doesn't mean we have to have expensive things, just making the things we have beautiful and attractive. 

I firmly feel that what God wants of us is to live artfully and thus joyfully. Anyone can life by the bare necessities-even animals-but we are beautifully complex, artistic creatures created by the most creative One of all. This is how we realize the full potential of who we are so that we can see the world and ourselves the way God Himself sees us. As I live out my vocation as wife, mother and home maker, I am obliged to ask myself how I can perform these roles with the utmost diligence. How can I inspire my children to be 100% who they are and do so joyfully? 

The first exercise Kondo says, before starting anything, is to imagine the kind of life you want at the end of all this. Then, ask yourself why? and then again, ask why? Doing this 3-5 times she says, you finally come to realize that you ultimately just want to be truly happy and joyful in life. Doing this exercise, I found that this goal extends further to consider where I am in my spiritual journey and vocation. It has caused me to ask what I put emphasis on and what things I neglect to work on. Instead of feeling overwhelmed, I want to feel free and able to enjoy the life God has been so gracious to bless me with. I want to be able to spend more time with my children instead of worrying about tidying up. I'm tired of always feeling overwhelmed with all that needs to be done. These are the kinds of things that truly make me happy and joyful. This is the kind of life, I feel, God wants for me also. 

So, I take you with me as I begin this journey! I'll keep you updated about my progress and the thoughts I have along the way. 

Our Advent Gifts for Christ Child Activity

So, since Ian has turned 3 years old, I have been trying to slowly encourage him to start learning his prayers. In September, we used the first 8 days of the month in anticipation of the Nativity of the Blessed Mother to teach him the Hail Mary. I created a paper birthday cake onto which we placed a candle every day Ian (and Zelie) would recite their prayers. It was a hit! On the 8th, we baked a cake together, frosted it, and sung happy birthday to our Blessed Mother!

Though he has only learned the first half of the prayer, this has made me very ambitious for the Advent Season! Harnessing this energy and enthusiasm, I thought I might teach him the Our Father. It was pretty successful. I am so proud of them. For Advent, we created a list of mainly clothing items that little baby Jesus would need when he is born on Christmas. I adapted this from an a similar activity we would do as children in our home growing up.

This is what it looked like by Christmas (with a few missing stars)

We created the list together, sort of. The attention span of a 3 and 2 year old only allowed them to contribute socks and candy canes but you know, they got the gist.  Next, I wrote the items onto a piece of poster paper and taped it up on our wall. The deal was that during the Advent season, every time they would complete an Our Father, or half of one in the case of Zelie, they would receive a star. To keep their gifts for Jesus distinct, I used different colors to for each of them. Ian was gold and Zelie was pink. (They chose their own colors! Didn't reinforce any gender stereotypes!) Five stars would result in the completion of an item. This was a little hard of Zelie to grasp but Ian got it, I think. He was so excited that even after Christmas, he was wanting to make things of Jesus. Mainly a suit. He seemed to think that it was very important that the newborn Jesus have a suit.

He loved looking at the chart to see all the gifts they had created for Baby Jesus. Of course, they had their "I-refuse" days here and there but overall they had a lot of fun with it.

I got all my supplies from DollarTree. All I needed to create this simple Advent activity was:
Black poster paper
Metallic Markers (to create the chalk writing effect)
Star stickers
Pencil

Let me know what you think and if there are any activities you use to help your little ones learn their prayers!

Mystery of this water and wine

Today, I finally made it to weekday mass. 'Finally' meaning for the first time since we've had our newest little one, Chiara Ann. Due to a number of cultural formalities and physical limitations, I was putting off starting to go. However, now with a nanny that arrives around 6:15, I can go and come back just before the kids begin to wake up! Providence, surely, is on my side here. But I digress.

Maybe because of this hiatus in being able to go to mass by myself, my ears and especially heart were ultra sensitive today, I feel. The words of the celebrant rung more sharply in my mind, over and over, long after he spoke them. Yet, these words rang especially loud and long today:

By the mystery of the water and wine, may we come to share in the 
divinity of Christ who humbled himself to share in our humanity.

How especially beautiful these words are during this time of year. For some of us, we dragged through these last couple weeks of the year and for others the spirit of the season carried us over the expected hump of the year end only to have a delayed release come January. In the wisdom of our faith, these words can serve us in a special way whichever season we find ourselves in, both figurative and literal.

Their scriptural foundation in both the New and Old Testament, brings to life their true brilliance and the wisdom that inspired its inclusion into the liturgy.

By the mystery of this water and wine           2 Macc. 15:39; John 19:34

may we come to share in the divinity of Christ          Rom. 5:2; 2 Pet. 1:4
who humbled himself to share in our humanity.                       Phil. 2:8

Spoken during the preparation of the gifts, they are swollen with anticipation and fulfillment.They teach us to remember the mystery of the Incarnation, Christ becoming man, the original Christmas miracle (ha-ha) alongside the suffering that awaits this newborn child.

The divine world meets the human world. Water and wine serve to provide such incredible depth and color (almost literally) to these words. Water, pure and holy, not made by man but provided for him from the earth through creation itself, meets wine, the product of man's sweat and toil, is the blood of our humanity. Though mingled not confused. Christ is this mystery.

 It is in the mystery of the body- the human body- of Christ that we touch the divine world, the divine power we cannot touch any other way. We touch the divine only because he has shared in our humanity. The Eucharist therefore, brings us to Heaven and allows us to share in the same mystery that IS Christ.

What does this mean then? Well, other than the awesomeness that we are now a part of in our rebirth through baptism and participation in Eucharist....well...it means a lot more!

It means that our bodies (and minds) are thus elevated. My body means more because of Christ than it would have ever without him. (Not to say that it didn't matter before or outside of Christ because of course as made by God it means a great deal.) As a temple of the Spirit, it is as was Christ's body, a point from which we can/should to draw others to God. 

December Empties

There were several products that we went through as a family this December. I mention these products to share our experiences with them and in hopes of helping those of you out there looking to try them yourself!

I share these products for another important reason as well. The products we choose I think also reflects upon the way we live also and that what this is all about right!? I put a lot of research into the items I buy. I do this not only because I hate wasting money on products I might not like, but also because I truly believe in using products that are the best for the body and the environment. I refer to the GoodGuide as a starting point of my research quite often when it comes to purchasing certain items. It is quite important for me to be socially responsible in the way I spend my money as well. I would rather spend 5 extra dollars on a product, service, or at a store that promotes good values and treatment of other human beings than save that money for myself. The way I see it, I encourage those individuals to continue doing what they do, promote their success and hopefully the ethical values they practice prevail in a world filled with...well not that. This being said, sometimes my research falls short or I cave by the disparity in pricing but I try my best to always stick to my guns. 

Here they are then for the month of December:

Mustela Dermo-Cleansing Baby Body Wash

       I've been using these guys since the California Baby body washes changed formula about 2 years ago. My babies smell so wonderful with this baby wash. It is super gentle and great for sensitive skin like that of a newborn or child with eczema.  

The Body Shop- Cocoa Butter Body Butter

       Oh goodness. This is the good stuff. The formula of this product melts with your body temperature. It is super hydrating for my uncomfortably dry skin. I used this especially while I was pregnant with Chiara to help those bad itching spells that come toward the last stretch (haha, get it?)

Kiehl's Deep Moisture Clarifying Cream

       This guy is a little bit on the ess-pen-sive side of the spectrum of skin care products. For me, at least. However, it is a plant based product and perfect for my skin. I'm a firm believer in the "you get what you pay for" mantra when it comes to skin care because I FEEL a huge difference since I've started using this guy. Normally, one of these lasts me between 5 and 6 months. Which is a LONG time. 

The Body Shop- Vitamin E Cream Exfoliator

       Ok, so when I bought this little number, I was desperately looking for a face scrub that could deal with the desert that is my face. What I failed to realize was that this has microbeads for exfoliation. It has a score of 0 in the GoodGuide for Health. Unfortunately, I have a serious problem where with wasting products I buy. I can not throw it out unless it is finished or (seriously) expired so I sucked it up and finished it. Will not be repurchasing. 

Cera Ve Baby Lotion 

       This lotion came as a suggestion made by a dermatologist as being better for our kids than Aquaphor. It is definitely easier to put on but I don't feel that it is as moisturizing. We have another bottle open so we'll see how that goes. 

Origin's GinZing Under Eye Cream (not pictured) 

       A tiny bottle that I purchased last March has lasted me till December! Again, expensive but I know how important under eye cream was so I sucked it up and bought it. I can't say I feel like it did anything for me. It had such great promises all over the place but did nothing for me. Comes to show how sometimes your research doesn't align with experience. 

So these are my select empties of December. Hope they help and let me know your thoughts!

Celebrating the Birth of the Poor

Rather than fade into the distinct and loud ringing Christmas carols (fa la la la la...), I find myself pondering, still wondering; the Nativity has intensified becoming more tangible to my senses. I smell the hay in the manger and feel the dampness of the stable air: the birthplace of the Lord of Heaven, the Universe and the Word that created all things. My mind hugs the barn houses and stables.

It really wasn't a pleasant place. It really really wasn't. But, somehow, God found it perfect for the beginning of the story that would change the course of history both of time and salvation. It is here, in this dark, cold, damp and harsh place that a small helpless child born to reign all Good things is born.

My heart has pondered the words which I believe belong to Pope Francis in the first couple weeks of this last year. I am paraphrasing here since I have searched high and low for this quote and could not find it.

"The mystery of Christmas is wrapped up in this: 

that we should celebrate the birth of the poor." 

What a strange thing for our Pope Frankie to say. I mean, poverty is a problem. It is a problem that so many individuals, scientists, humanitarians, social justice workers try to eradicate. It is a "fate" and circumstance that most of us try to avoid like the plague. In fact, our society is so obsessed with financial stability that we put off many of life's milestones to avoid "being poor" like buying a home or having a child. Celebrating such a state seems to imply a sense of desire for it.

What the bizzaro is this man (holy man) talking about? Is it merely a statement suggesting compassion for those less fortunate than ourselves? Is he just encouraging our engagement in the corporal works of mercy that any "good" catholic should be? Yes, as you guessed by the sizable amount of writing left in this post that I think there is much more to this statement.

The poverty seen in the manger scene is certainly a poverty of material lacking, yes. But it extends far beyond that: it is a poverty of many sorts. It is the poverty of being unrecognized, of not knowing, of not understanding. It is a celebration of surrender. It is a celebration of the poor and what they offer us.

My mind immediately moves to Christ's parents Mary and Joseph. In Scripture, we read that "she wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them." (Luke 2:7) I am drawn to the humility and fixed Godliness that they must have embraced in order to believe that it was okay for this special person growing in the womb of our Blessed Mother to be born in this place. I think of the gratitude with which they seemed to receive this stable: the total surrender that what they had to give and could receive in those moments were perfect and whole and enough.

As a man, Joseph had to trust that what he was able to do and accomplish by his own hand and power were of no real avail. He had to accept that what he could do was simply enough. This, I know is no small task for a man to admit to much less submit to. As a woman, and now mother, Mary had to say that God had given everything to her. She, who carried the universe in her womb did not fall into proud conceit but fell to depths of humility instead- accepting God's hand in all things.

Thus, the lack felt in poverty makes room in us. Instead of being filled we are made empty. Yet, this emptiness allows us to holistically see the world around us but especially the ways in which we are incomplete causing us to gaze upon the only wholly good and perfect thing in the universe. You guessed it: God.

Poverty offers us a gift. In the pleasantly unpleasant stable into which Christ was born, we can see the perfect humility of God and the perfect love He displays to us through that humility. From his birth he highlights only one thing: the mission he has left to fulfill on earth and the motive by which this mission will be accomplished. Love. 

They simply walk to Bethlehem.

The Christmas season has decidedly begun. (Let's be honest, its been beginning for a couple months now at least) But I've been mostly oblivious to it except for a couple wreath displays at DollarTree since I've either been too pregnant to prance about the mall stores or having just given birth I've been staying home with the bebe. In any case, maybe it's having this new life in my arms night and day but I find my mind lingering at the scene of the Nativity. More so, however, as we've begun this journey through the advent season, my mind turns to the journey young Mary and Joseph took as they approached Bethlehem.

Here were two individuals. How long were they married? Not too long. Did they speak to one another? Presumably; getting to know one another. What words were spoken? Surely, many were not. Did they speculate who this child would be. The one Mary carried and Joseph was entrusted.  As any parent would, surely they had hopes and dreams and deep desire for this child to grow in health but also to grow to be loved not only by them but by his world. Yet, even in sharing these words, it seems that Mary would know that at least some of these hopes, hopes she couldn't help from springing in her heart, would not be the case.

Yet, with the birth of her child around the corner, Mary like any other mother has nothing but joy and anxiety- the right mix and balance of both, of course. She makes every step, breathes every breathe fully aware that each moment draws her closer to that moment of bringing new life, Life itself into the world. Could she have truly understood this reality? Could she bear to live if she did? Maybe one day I can ask her myself. For now, I just sit here and wonder.

And what of Joseph. Many times, when I think of Joseph, I think of my own husband. I know this may sound strange, and maybe this is due to my own lack of imagination, but I always imagine Joseph having been very much like Tony, my husband. His mannerisms, his consideration, his constant desire to be the best father he can be but mostly because he takes his calling to be father the most important of all tasks he will ever have. We have agreed, since our early dating days, that there is and never can be nothing more beautiful, more important a task entrusted to us than that of parents (if God gave us that gift). And here He has, three times over. This is what I see Joseph to be like. Constantly thinking, planning, weighing. But mostly trying. In trying perfecting this call to fatherhood.

On this journey, I see Mary and Joseph. Mary sitting on the donkey, belly and all, too tired to sit up straight from the hours of riding. Joseph steering the donkey. Feet dusty and cracked from the miles of walking but still standing tall for his wife. Being her strength and never allowing his weariness to show: not in his stance and certainly not on his face. From him, she is reminded of God's immense grace and love. From her, he sees God's immense goodness and strength.

This is where they begin. They have a long journey ahead but they find themselves looking to one another to see God and in doing know what they must do. They don't presume to be on some noble quest or be inflated by a sense of proud destiny. They walk on their chosen path. They simply walk to Bethlehem.